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Today was
different somehow, different and better than other days. Now at the end of the day I search for the things that made it feel so unique. I got up slightly earlier than usual, but that was not quite it. I followed the same route to work, listened to some music, but can not recall what. I recall the morning and its colours; dull and gray, typical for this time of the year. At work I greeted the people as they showed up for work in an almost predictable order. I had a lot of work, so I dug in real hard, but that makes nothing special of this day. Even my first cup of coffee for the day was delivered as usual, what was so special about this day then? I was ill for a week before today, absent from work and stayed in bed. I did not see all the things above for a whole week, but so what; I could live without that. I have an idea that I must have missed you, just the idea of having you close. Missing the conversations we have, the topics we discuss; it might just be that. When I close my eyes, I can still clearly form a picture of how you looked today. I can still trace a line over your every curve and expectantly, that excites me. I see your eyes, illuminated with an unknown mysterious light. How often have I found myself lost within the sparkle of those? Yes, this day was special to me and now I know why. I treasure the moments spent in closeness with you and the thoughts we shared. I imprint those specific moments where we were almost close enough to touch, on my memory. I relive the times we actually touched, with a shiver running down my spine. I know that there will not be much more than ‘just this’ ever, but it is enough. I can enjoy you and all the things about you I like in this fashion for years on end. However; do not be fooled, for you excite me way more than this. So, do not tempt me, for I would not resist. I wait on tomorrow with the anticipation of seeing you; hearing what is on your mind. I will allow my eyes to role over you as before and record the pleasure it brings me, yet again. Once, just once; I wish you could feel how sensual my glance flows over you. Then you would know the flame burning inside me for you. Today was unique, because of the role you played. I remain your friend and a true friend I am, while I understand it to be the best way to stay close to you. I am not a fool and know how to get the most out of every situation I find myself in. Being your friend is as close as this life will permit me to you. |
| By : Thys Groesbeek |