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How can I
be expected to ignore the movements in my heart? I get so frustrated when others expect of me to do things they are incapable of. Why is my life so important to others; and why do they judge me so? Have I ever placed such expectance on you; expect you to do what you can’t? How am I to greet the feelings in my heart; wipe away the faces from my mind? I have had to live apart from many I love; how can I be expected to say goodbye to more? I am tired my friend… I am tired by being pushed around by others ignorance. Just how did I become responsible for your comfort and contentment? I am misunderstood when I mention that I am walking this world alone. I continuously condition those around me; protect them from that they can’t understand. I am there for you when you fail to understand or make sense of something. But; I do not even receive consideration when my understanding surpasses the average. I have said how I would have to combine individuals to, together, form a friend. I have stated that I will have to find more than one love to have love in its full capacity. But this is not understood; the mud pool is seen as a sea and I know it is not. How would you coupe, when I show you the real sea; or… the love I speak of? It seems like everyone is permit to love to their capacity; while I am not. I am not even allowed to be sad about it without having to explain what is wrong. I only let it surface when I am having difficulty coping with the unfairness of it. Tell me! When I will be given a break to be as ignorant as you? I love everyone and all; I feel sad for the way in which they are captivated. I am even more taken by the way nobody seems to be aware if it. When you are used to eat only bread everyday of your life; how do I explain steak? How will you come to grasp the concept of pudding and sweets? Oh… mankind; I pity your state and weep silently inside for how you have been robbed. I get angry for the way you are complacent, accepting the little you have and say thanks. Good qualities I know, for you are all good; but don’t you ever question if there is more? Your barriers were created once off; you have become the maintenance team for it. Why should I smile; tell me, what makes that right or don’t you understand. The spiritual you are not captivated by the flesh; and you can love all. You will always live within your confinements like mice in a cage. One day you will be taken out and fed to the snake; is that a good life? I dream of running in the fields, feeding on the food I can find. I know the possibility of being social with others I meet; drop the cage. You are grateful for being fed; having water placed at your feet. Being told what you may and may not do; because you believe you are actually bad. We all make a choice, especially of how we want to live; and that is okay. Now, please permit me to live according to mine; without questioning me why. I am your friend and care for you without knowing your name. I will not harm you; I will not cage you or capture you with my ways; but, let me live. I love more than I can even explain; it surpasses even my understanding. LOVE… the only thing I can not control within me; that is for what I live. I can not grasp your insecurities about it that well; I can only assume. My heart love without end; then still have its full capacity left to love. Please grant me this freedom; or PLEASE give me something to fill the gap. I hunger all the time; what is feeding from my soul, only the cage you have placed me in. I want to live completely, but because of the walls around me; I would rather die. Words are flowing from my soul; it is nice and inspiring, but nothing change. That is the life we live in; nothing ever changes to address the real problem. We have a symptomatic approach; there is no place for more plasters and pills. Question your life; admit that you have no real knowledge of right and wrong. Why then so certain that I must be wrong; just because I view things different? My friends, life is much more than what you know. You limit your life experiences by falling in the trap of a monotonous life. You are the mouse running on the wheel that never goes anywhere. Please stop biting my tail while I am escaping; join me or at least let me go alone. |
| By : Thys Groesbeek |