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In my heart
I carry a love I am not permitted to feel or to act
upon. I have a vision of how this love could be shared, but those involved aren’t ready. The world will not condone such a lifestyle and with it my loneliness remains real. How do I exist and how do I breathe; I am held alive only to suffer at ignorance. We all stand in awe of the romantics; by the marvel of their sacrifice in love. Yet, when the romantics amongst us try to love and care; we are stopped. There is no sanity in mankind’s behaviour; no sense in many of its laws. However, we must obey them for it is law; pointless, outdated and silly, but law. I can not fight against your viewpoints anymore; my soul has grown weary. I suffer from fatigue and my mind is exhausted to calculate another way. So, after all this time I raise the white flag; my heart can endure no more. Let it be as you want, I will conform even if it is just to make you keep quiet. I will conceal my feelings; from all those who are involved. I will fight my battles with it, at night, while others are at sleep. I will make you comfy and make you think that all is okay. But in my heart I will record the transgressions against me in dismay. Why can we not permit people to lead a life of their choosing? If all parties involved have given consent, then why should a law forbid that? I have had enough of trying to live my life according to my belief. The price to pay, the emotions involved and the cost to my sanity is too high. Friends and family, forgive me for I will have to change; partly you to blame. I can not continue to be a visionary, dreamer and philosopher; I can’t stand the pain. My heart is too big for my ribcage; my love too complex to grasp. So, I shall have to live in the box you gave; “Jack in the Box” is what I’ll be. |
| By : Thys Groesbeek |