| Maybe I
haven’t been called to life for any purpose at all. Are there any rewards for giving so much without recall? I sit here disbursed in my emotion; fist in hand at my fate. My mind is analyzing the data; my time maybe… too late. The uncertainty of my future consumes me; how will it be? I hate the dependence of money we have; survive we’ll see? Persistent toil of cope; now, no hope at all I see anymore. Fate is playing poker with my destiny; failing to score. A plan I have to make; wealth for my children create. Stress I need relieve; provide security for my mate. All along I am standing steadfast; not to lose my mind. Frustrated I shuffle through our bills, pay they remind! I had perceived control; with a brush of hand, it’s now missing. I have learned now; people’s word account for all of nothing. My trust in others intention is slipping fast; against my will. My creditors stand in line; it is me they want to drill. I lift my hands; my head to the heavens, but this is my fight. It’s from own doing; my mistake, miracles needed, not a right. Here I sit, once again; faced with the reality of this physical life. Still I dream, I call to life; existence in simplicity I strive. No hugs and kisses can pay the bond; it can’t pay for what it must. I could lend my mind to write a story; still, my wallet remains bust. Is it the fate of an artist to live with struggle; what about those he love? My plans have fallen over; now pride in pocket I must shove. Lady Fate, I beg you please, no hand outs; but a chance I should have. If not for me should karma prevent it; at least let my family laugh. Let me face my fate alone; save my children the strife of my horrid fate. That has been my burden as a child; foolishly I expected it to abate. I call on all the forces in existence; make it right, my Saviour paid the price. I know not what karma I brought along; so my life it would dice. But… bring no harm to those I love; my debt, their lives should not pay. And if you find grace within you; let the sins of my past now there stay. |
| By : Thys Groesbeek |